ever noticed how when you want something you never seem to get it? i feel like its this scenario with so many things,for example i found that when i went for a job interview that i Wanted  i didnt get it,but when i went for an interview that for me was like,im not bothered if i dont get it,im young i dont need the responsibility of a job along with college on my back, i seemed to ace the interview and landed the job. as im lay here,reading other blogs ive come to realise how so many people want love,including myself. its all i want,its all i think about,its all i hear,read about via books,magazines,music,TV its everywhere making me feel like its pointing out the obvious that i dont have a loving relationship in my life.
when i read past stories about other people love lifes and about them falling apart,its like i want that heart gushing feeling of the chance of loosing someone,so much that a somewhat weird feeling comes over me making me feel extra lonely,hating on myself for not having love in my life,for not being as out there as all my friends who have boyfriends,for not being as chatty and as open with boys as i would like to be.
its only just recently that ive come to the realisation that men and the affection that you receive of them isnt everything,yea its a nice feeling its great it makes you feel happy,warm and fuzzy inside.But its not everything,what is everything is your family,your friends the people that you surround yourself with on a daily basics,lately this topic as been on my mind a lot,mainly because its summer and well i have a lot of free time on my hands but ive realised that its a topic i hate being brought up,its a topic that i have between my head and heart each day.
i guess its true what people say,it comes once you stop looking... i think ive burdened myself with thoughts of love so much that i feel like its no longer something that i want,but something that i feel like i NEED! when i obviously dont need the love of another person,i guess you've just got to keep telling your self it will come when it comes and when it comes you'll know about it,for sure...

xoxo

“Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.” – Doug Ivester

Waitng to be found..

i think this is going to sound depressing with it being my first blog,but i dont know i feel like im walking down a long winding path waiting for someone to jump up and be like hey,this way,over here,obviously that isn't going to happen,but in my mind thats how it feels like its going to be.. i think that this is what this blogs about,a place where i can pour all my thoughts out,hoping it will help me find the path that im suppose to be on,if not then i guess its just something to do while life occurs and leads me down the many diffrent paths it wants me to go down.. .